This evening I was moved into the neighbouring cell after the management instructed the wardens that prisoners who have already been sentenced should be bunked up together, rather than mixed with prisoners who are on remand (i.e. waiting for a trial). As my new room mate and I started to get acquainted, he explained to me that he considers himself a Buddhist, but that he has a violent past. He described having had “Wee Man Syndrome” in the past, growing up the youngest in a large family of boys. “Saving face” had always been important to him, meaning that if anyone said anything insulting to him in front of others, he felt he had to retaliate physically to show that he wouldn’t be belittled. Having been bullied and overpowered by his brothers all through his childhood, this was how he had learned to maintain at least some of his self-respect. He started body-building, and over the years built himself up to increase his sense of power in a world where he often felt powerless. As we spoke, he stood scratching his back against the door frame, the way a grizzly bear might against a tree.

I told him that I had a lot of respect for him because here in the hall he carries himself with an air of self-confidence, at the same time as showing a lot of concern and kindness for the other guys.

An hour or so later I looked across to where he was standing. He was becoming visibly angered as he spoke to another guy. Then the transformation occurred. In a matter of seconds, his usually soft gentle face hardened… morphing into an almost demonic form. As the argument continued, his chest swelled visibly. His shoulders rolled forward, and he grew a good 3 inches in height. Every muscle and sinew tensed, stiff ridges forming down his neck towards his shoulders and chest. His eyes normally so kind and warm, became round, hard and glassy. The whole metamorphosis left him snarling heavily and noisily through clenched teeth. My new cell mate.