Now I’m no Christian but I did fancy getting out of my cell, so when a form was presented to me that asked if I was Catholic or Protestant I ticked both boxes. The following Sunday my cell was unlocked 15 minutes before the start of the Catholic service.

We were led into the most beautiful room that I had ever seen inside the prison. It’s basically like a doctor’s waiting room, but with fantastically-carved wooden furniture: an altar, a huge wall-mounted cross, a big fancy chair and a bible stand. A small plastic milk bottle sat on the altar. Its label had been peeled off and in its place a cross had been drawn in red felt-tip pen. (Even by the end of the service I still wasn’t sure what it was for).

During the intercession prayers one of the three wardens standing behind us suddenly spoke into his radio-mic: ”Received. On route.” He left the room.

The priest spoke with a Ukrainian accent… soft and kind… but all I could think about was Dr Kru from “Despicable Me’. His bald head completed the picture.

We came to the end of the service. As we sang the final hymn my eyes blurred with tears.

God forgave my sin, in Jesus’ name

I’ve been born again in Jesus’ name

And in Jesus’ name I come to you

To share his love as he told me to

He said “Freely, freely you have received”

“Freely, freely give”

“Go in my name and because you believe”

“Others will know that I live”