Dear Friend,

I write this letter to you as you prepare your suicide, and to myself as I prepare to leave prison tomorrow. I know that there’s a big part of you that doesn’t want to be here with us for much longer. I hear you and understand that you feel ready to leave this world. You’ve been working towards suicide for a very long time now, and I can understand that the anticipation of this gives you a sense of peace.

I have witnessed your suffering since I arrived here and I think that for both of us the root of this darkness is the knowledge that our actions have hurt others. We have not lived up to our own ideals, our own beliefs of what a ‘good person’ is, and we carry the shame of this in our bellies every day.

I do not believe that all suffering in the world serves a purpose. But in our case, if our stress and sadness has helped us to see how far wrong we have gone, then it has been invaluable to us. If we have sat with our shame, felt it deeply and understood its meaning, then it has done its job.

But I want you to know and believe this: ALL OF US, whether here in prison or out in the community, have done things that we regret. We have all harmed other people, harmed the planet that we live on, and harmed the society that we live in. We have all done things that we are ashamed of, and that make us feel black inside. We have all made mistakes and fallen short of our own ideals. We have all done these things because we are human.

I am writing this letter because I want you to know that I have noticed your pain, and I want you to be able to let go of the feelings of shame and sadness that are holding you back from living. I also want you to know these truths: that you are important…. that you are loved…. that you are precious.

Your feelings matter and your life is valuable. Your happiness matters. I do not believe this is because you have earned it. I do not believe this because of anything you have done for others or achieved for yourself. I believe it simply because you are a person.

You will be happy again, and that is just as it should be.

From your friend.